push and pull
why i insist on "switch 4ever"
originally articulated 13 february 2026.
i've voiced my criticisms for both fanon xiaoven and fanon venxiao before, and for years now, i have been very insistent on presenting myself as a switch shipper when it comes to xvx. though many people by this point have (correctly!) clocked me as vx-leaning, i just can't really seem to find myself able to commit to calling myself "a venxiao shipper" first and foremost, mostly because i do get the impression that the fanon distinction in the characterization habits of no-switch shippers remains to this day.
while i am known to read quite a variety of characterizations (some of my friends will be familiar with what i call "junk reads") i have a very narrow tolerance for what i consider to be "good and in-character" for xvx, and only a somewhat broader acceptance for "good and cute enough to forgive". in both cases, the center of my tolerances lands just outside of what seems to me to be the appeal of xv to xv (no switch) shippers and vx to vx (no switch) shippers alike.
xv, in my least charitable view of it, tends to concern itself with this very self-assured xiao × horny, kind of pushy, venti. this is a venti which talks xiao into fucking him all the time, and a xiao who lacks the willpower to resist whatever it is that venti does to him, and then half the time also ends up putting a baby in venti. they have their goddamn edgelord loser xiao × babygirl venti; the bad boy xiao × manic pixie dream bbg venti!
meanwhile, vx, in my least charitable view of it, tends to be just "sad moeblob xiao × possessive venti," as my good friend navi put it so very well the other day. this is the vx i pulled apart and criticized in the already-linked "NO SWITCH" essay, and tbh the only reason i allow myself to publicly admit i lean more vx is bc i do think it's cute when xiao is a bit of a bashful maiden sometimes. (but only sometimes and within reason.)
the appeal of vx to me tends to lie in like… a xiao in awe and almost disbelief, in a sense? he has a willingness to follow up on his desires, but he can't quite compute that it's really happening now, and so he needs venti to reach out thim and pull him into this sweet dream just a little before he falls fully into it. there's a tender reverence about the way he treats venti, and the utter sincerity he shows in it is what endears him to venti.
meanwhile, venti protects xiao and gives him solace. he teases xiao, yes, and although xiao doesn't always understand this teasing fully, he knows enough about venti's true self to experience the affections intended by such actions, which i think endears venti to xiao in turn. venti is simultaneously coy and straightforward, playing a little game of being a damsel-in-distress for xiao to come rescue him (without, y'know, actually being in any danger).
there's just smth about how for the first time, xiao is obedient to his own desires rather than anyone else's, and how, funny enough, that is exactly what venti wants out of him. i love the xv which sees a xiao who wants venti to be happy (and goes about that by obeying venti's every whim) turn into a xiao who still wants venti to be happy, but this time goes about it in such a way that is honest abt his motivations and true to his heart (he wants a happy venti!!). it's a xiao who has learned to say "no" to venti, but rarely says it all the same, not because he's afraid of disappointing venti, but because the things they want genuinely complement one another.
and i do think that has the potential to be kind of embarrassing for xiao (lol). not the fact that he is wanting (though that is definitely excruciating), but more so in the fact that it's true! he is experiencing this ginormous and terribly pure form of desire; he wants this one thing, this one person for no other reason than that he's in love. he wants venti!!!!
at the end of the day, venti just wants xiao to do what he wants for his own sake, not for the sake of others, while xiao wants to feel free to pursue venti for the sake of it, for the sake of this love which he has carefully guarded and harbored in his heart, this love which may have perhaps been borne out of mere gratitude, but even as time passed by and whatever debts were there lapsed or were paid back in some way, bloomed into its own thing for the sake of itself. (if it had ever been anything other than love in the first place at all.)
venti wants to be wanted, of course, and that's why xvx has the potential to look like "venti is stringing xiao along, playing this game of being a damsel-in-distress until they get together, and xiao plays along bc he's obedient." that's fun in its own right, but i do love it when xiao experiences the true freedom and bravery of chasing after venti himself…
this is why i'm obsessed w/the grey area btwn xv and vx, why i repeatedly refuse to commit to one or the other: there's this push-and-pull going on in their relationship that i just can't ignore, as the lines which define who they are and what they do and how they act on one another and why do nothing but blur and blur as time goes on and one examines the relationship btwn them.