(back to xiaoven)

on "NO SWITCH"

originally written 5 august 2023.

so, last time on dragon ball z, i archived a diary entry that is sort of a criticism of the fandom's preference for xiaoven over venxiao, and why i think venti would be more likely to initiate romantic or intimate moments w/xiao rather than the other way around. but it doesn't talk abt sex or top/bottom dynamics in the context of fandom, bc well!

simply put, i wasn't at a point where i read m/m smut, bc i hadn't yet started unpacking that yet. (i'm still unpacking it! there's a lot going on in that briefcase!! esp. since it turns out that a lot of xvx smut just isn't to my tastes, so like!!!) but now i do! sometimes. (when there's something i find tasteful.) ((this almost never happens.)) so i have at least a Little bit more familiarity with m/m porn tropes to separate the trope from the sex itself and understand that sometimes, i'm just averse to some kink.

anyway, so "looking for my penis" is a 1991 essay by richard fung that talks abt asian men in western-made gay porn and how a lot of the times, they are not really the subject of the art. they are the object of fantasy, probably not really meant to be identified with, and always shown in relation to white men.

i've never really in the habit of ascribing people or characters the labels of "white" vs. "poc". i guess it's in part because i am half white, half asian, growing up in a heavily (east/southeast) asian area, but i never really felt like a "person of color" until i went to college and felt alienated by the sudden whiteness of my neighbors.

and i guess i just never thought too much abt the potential role race can play in xv, bc even though i do see xiao (and, by extension, the other liyue chars) as culturally chinese, chinese culture is very much a part of my life and identity as a 混血 growing up in a deeply culturally asian area.

although i can sometimes tell when people aren't really writing xiao from a culturally asian perspective, it never strikes me as something to actively consider when talking abt his relationship w/venti, whom i suppose i imagine as kind of acultural (in the sense that i don't really feel strongly abt ascribing traits of a real-world culture to mond— i do feel that mond itself has a strong culture formed around freedom n such, but anyway) in comparison.

as a result, it very rarely strikes me to view xv as an inter racial relationship.

inter cultural, sure!! absolutely!! that's a core part of what makes their dynamic so interesting to me, those tensions btwn freedom n devotion, duty n desires— but i guess because this is a fantasy land, race doesn't (usually) factor into these things in my head.

however, reading "looking for my penis" kind of made me go, "oh! right. race and racism are things that will be reflected in relationships and fiction, including ones about sex. and there exist racial stereotypes in the real world that can sometimes be reflected uncritically in porn, adding to greater trends in fiction that ultimately contribute to said stereotypes inside of people's heads.

"and this essay talks about how asian men in gay porn are portrayed as submissive towards the white men they are partnered with; and how asian men are objectified for the white man's pleasure."

…

and then i thought, "xv is technically a relationship (albeit fictional) btwn a white n asian man. in my aversion towards an overly dominant xiao in xv smut, am i instead indulging in racial stereotypes abt asian submission?"

i'd like to believe the answer to that is no, that it's more complicated than that.

bc even now, as i articulate those thoughts more clearly in words for an essay, i think my issue with xiaoven (fixed order) is that it feels like it often forgets that xiao has a lot of difficulty admitting he has desires, let alone taking the initiative to act on them. and i think that sex, as a very human, very mortal act (for what need have immortals to reproduce?) would be the sort of desire xiao would take great pains to distance himself from, and would therefore require a lot of coaxing and self-reflection to admit to having.

like, this is obvious to me. "shame, devotion, and venxiao" covers this in a non-sexual lens, but i think it can be extended into this territory of physical intimacy easily: xiao struggles with desire. venti does not. therefore, venti is more likely to take the lead and initiate things in xvx relationship.

but there is a reason why this essay's subject is meant to be on the subject of "NO SWITCH" in fandom and not just a rehash of my venxiao essay that also serves to soothe my anxieties abt possibly playing into racial stereotypes at the same time, and that's bc as i've begun surveying the lands of m/m smut, i've come to observe a number of artists n writers who don't let the characters switch top/bottom positions.

i feel like that in itself isn't a red flag, since top/bottom is a separate axis from things like dom/sub and what not— sex is complicated, and queer sex even more so, and real people cannot be stereotypes even if their tastes happen to align w/stereotypes that can be ascribed to them— but depending on where you go in fandom, some people say that the reason for "NO SWITCH" is bc they prefer a certain dynamic (not necessarily smutty in nature!!) btwn the characters, which again, is fair.

but we kind of also have to acknowledge the fact that slash and yaoi, as fannish creations, have heteronormativity in their histories: that there was a time when top did also mean dom and bottom did also mean sub and a plethora of other sexual expectations, and that the historical usage of these terms when used fannishly can and do influence what people mean with them today.

what i'm trying to say here is that a lot of times, the people who don't let characters switch positions or 'dynamics' often seem to me like they are adhering to those preconceived ideas about what roles within sex n relationships should look like.

which isn't a crime or anything— this is fiction, and we are playing with people's fantasies, after all— but it's not usually to my tastes at all, even when the order they're being strict about happens to align w/my preferences as well. i think there are probably ships out there where it would make sense for the characters involved not to switch, but xvx is not one of them.

and i guess to be transparent, i'm pretty sure i've read more vx smut than xv purely bc i feel like i can't really trust xiaoven (no switch) enjoyers to Understand™ xv as characters in a way that matches my Standards™. however, despite finding vx more tolerable to read, it is not immune to bad character takes in general.

the thing abt venxiao that i don't like when it is portrayed strictly is how it feels to me that while xiao may be allowed to have desires, he is not allowed to act on them for the sake of his own pleasure (or for the sake of pleasuring himself); rather, he must wait to be acted upon, to be fucked by someone else (or be willing only bc it would make venti happy, but i'm drawing blanks on that specific one).

he is robbed of agency; his actions are driven more by a desire to be subservient to another, whom he elevates above himself, than an obedience driven by a desire to be seen as good; and he feels more like a passive object which is simply happy to be fucked by venti than a character in his own right with actual desires of his own.

and i feel like there's nothing wrong with not wanting characters to switch, or only liking a fixed dynamic. it's just not my cup of tea bc i like it when both characters are allowed to be characters.

fixed dynamics that focus on the pleasure of only one character (doesn't matter which one, top or bottom) can work for people who only want to explore one character in-depth or with nuance (or for people who understand that being a top or bottom doesn't also dictate everything abt a dynamic), but if i'm gonna read smut, then i want them both to be taking active(!!!) pleasure out of both each other and the act itself.

like, i know that in real life, sometimes people really do just consent to sex bc it'll make their partner happy n that's fine that's a legitimate reason to consent to sex. but this is fiction and i'm here for unrealistic sappy romantic behavior.

and i guess i just don't like that xiao can sometimes be so passive in vx fic. like, he's happy to be fucked, which is cool, n it's, like, cool that he's allowed to admit that more often, but it still feels like he's too much of a passive object than an active subject in the act. it makes vx feel, when done without allowance for switching, feel very centered on venti's selfish whims and desires.

and i just don't think that venti would be primarily motivated by selfishness in regards to intimacy. i don't think he'd be motivated by selfishness at all, bc to me, a core appeal of the xiao-n-venti character dynamic in general is that i think both xiao n venti want the other person to be happy; they want to make the other person feel good w/o caring quite so much abt themselves.

and venti fucking xiao for the sake of making xiao feel good is present in vx smut (i think more so than xiao fucking venti for the sake of making venti feel good in xv smut (although due to Preferences™ i don't think i've read as much xv smut as vx, though i've definitely clicked out of plenty either way)), which is nice at least. but i think that even in situations where it's venti fucking xiao most of the time and that's like their normal configuration or w/e (i don't read enough smut to have confidence in my vocabulary here lol), i think that if xiao wants to make venti feel good in turn, venti would let him .

the desires within them are mutual, so by denying either of them the opportunity to switch, it ends up feeling ooc.

(well, fictional characters are always up to interpretation, so i guess that more accurate would be to say, "ooc by my interpretation of them", but this is MY WEBSITE, so who cares!!!)

at the very least, xv without switching is simply unsuited to my tastes, bc as i mentioned in my essay on asexual explorations, i just like it when characters are in love and make each other happy LOL.

(back to xiaoven)