defining xiaoven relationship
originally scribbled 11 december 2022.
i like qpr xv a lot. maybe it's bc i'm grey-aro and asexual, but i kind of resent it when every road to happiness is paved in romance.
anyway i read stone butch blues by leslie feinberg at around this time in an effort to learn more abt my own history as a queer, and it gave me just. So Many thoughts on how queer relationship roles work n how we don't have to define them in any specific way. they can just be what we want them to be, and they will be what we say they are.
- i think xiao would be hesitant to put his relationship to/with venti to words, esp at the time they get together
- “boyfriend”/“girlfriend” feel like such new and childish mortal terms, too silly for xiao’s tastes when asking venti to be with him
- literally every other word possible is so frivolously ~mortal~ tho lmao
- xiao’s also more of a creature of action, so rather than words (his BEHATED!!!), he probably just takes the initiative to kiss venti like foreshadowed in that one segment n hopes that his intentions n feelings get across there
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smth smth commentary on roles in relationship of the pursuant n the pursued
- how venti, as the wind, enjoys being chased n pursued, but unable to be caught unless he wants to be
- this is smth i’ve only begun thinking abt since reading stone butch blues. how it’s typically the more masc role to pursue the femme; what do you do in relationships that are femme4femme? what abt relationships that queer even those roles?
- when engaging w/my portrayal of xv through these lenses, how might i want them to be perceived?
- i think it is cute to have xiao be basically gradually prompted? guided? into a place where he may follow his desires— to pursue what he wants— by venti, who, like i said, i think would typically prefer to be chased
- in that way, venti is the one always in the lead. he always knows what he wants
- i know that the ship ordering thing is technically abt who tops, n to most other people’s understandings, that also informs who the dominant and/ the pursuant partner is.
- but i mean, it doesn’t have to be like that. queer relationships can be whatever the hell we want out of them
- i suppose that’s why i typically say i like venxiao(ven), bc i like to explore these different axes of courtship, romance, n sex w/more fine-grained nuance than just, like, no switch, n xv feels like the more… expected? configuration? if that makes sense
- idk if xv would correct anyone who said they were bfs or to become bfs or similar. maybe venti would be a little more obvious the next time he refers to xiao as his partner, or xiao will furrow his brow n frown a little, but it's not a full rejection of the term, just not quite adequate or accurate compared to how they prefer to refer to themselves
honestly, a lot of these thoughts are also elaborated on in great detail in the chapter three notes LOL.