swan footprints in the snow ~ for the birds (annotated) ~ joy of my life

Chapter Three: Swan Footprints in the Snow

titled “swan footprints in the snow” after a cn idiom "飛鴻踏雪" [fēi hóng tà xŭe], which refers to vestiges of the past, or the fleeting nature of human life. i liked the imagery of the characters looking at their current situations as though they were staring at the footprints of a swan taking flight left behind in the snow.
something beautiful was here, but now it has taken flight, for better or for worse.

dvalin uses the archaic informal ‘you’ (thou/thee) on venti bc, well, he’s an old man who hasn’t spoken w/humanity in forever; i think it would just be fun to flex not only my knowledge of shakespearean english as slightly above average, but also my general grammar skills in knowing when to use the subjective/objective forms of pronouns
“thou” is subjective and “thee” is objective, for the people to whom those are not just words i’m saying recreationally. “thy” and “thine” are like “a” and “an”; the former precedes an object that starts w/a consonant while the latter precedes an object that starts w/a vowel. the only exception is in regards to the letter h, which will sometimes use “thine”, as “heart” in those days (and some modern english accents) will skip over the h sound (“thine ‘eart”), but i didn’t want to imply that dvalin had a cockney accent, though i’m not sure what kind of accent i’m expecting out of him.
the word “tortuous” was also deliberately chosen over “torturous”, although they do look very similar. i remember learning that “tortuous” was a word at all when reading a book on english grammar and style, commanding its readers not to mix it up with “torturous” but anyway “tortuous” basically means complicatedly long and twisty, convoluted, sort of thing. basically , dvalin is roasting venti for not making a move on xiao in the centuries upon centuries they’ve spent dancing around each other
“the wind does not give chase” compare this to venti’s dialogue in the first chapter, where he does not deny hu tao’s accusation of him being afraid of the enormity of his own feelings basically keeping him from confessing.

in ch. 1, he was basically defending his reasons for why he wasn’t actively approaching xiao, and while he also admits that he’s afraid of confessing, it still leaves room for him to potentially want them both to someday change enough such that he is no longer afraid of making the first move.
here in this chapter, venti is defending his desire to be pursued romantically by xiao, rather than pursuing xiao. his romantic fantasies ultimately entail being confessed to rather than doing the confessing.

it might be a bit odd that he’s willing to go through any ridiculous plan except cut to the chase— after all, isn’t it usually the role of the pursuant to come up w/plans to win the favor of the pursued, who is otherwise simply along for the ride?— but i mean. “let the wind lead,” as they say.
i’d like to think that this is overall a very queer thing for venti to do, tbh, to pick out only what he wants out of the expected roles of a relationship and discard the rest, no matter how unconventional a mishmash of desires result.

in the first chapter, he [defends?] his concern for xiao’s feelings abt desire [and desiring things]; in this chapter, he defends his own feelings abt desire [and being desired]. both support the fact that venti wants to be wanted, and he wants to be wanted with certainty.

“so which one is his actual motive?” they both are. just bc one can argue that one is selfish n the other is selfless does not mean that his motives are in conflict. i’d say if anything they strengthen his motives overall.

“freedom is a flighty little thing / the wind is a lonesome little thing” was originally modeled after a line from princess tutu: “Truth is a shy little thing. If you approach it, it will hide. Truth is a lonesome little thing. If you move away from it, it will give chase.”

the line itself mutated several times before settling on its current form, but originally, i was going to quote that one web event that happened right before sumeru release, that had a bit where you stumble across some anemo slimes circling round a tree, n the flavor text said, “even the winds of freedom has things to which it is attached”
it should also be noted that the proverb(?) or w/e is neither a pair of couplets, nor do the lines perfectly parallel. the wind and freedom, while related and associated w/one another, are not the same thing: venti is the wind, while freedom is his ideal.

as such, basically what it’s saying in plainer english is smth like “i [venti] am lonely; those who want my ideal [freedom] must come together to fight for it bc they love it.”
it’s kind of like. people chase after the things they want bc they love them. people will fight for freedom, but no one deliberately seeks out the wind. venti is lonely, both he n xiao are motivated by freedom, smth smth symbolically this can represent their love for one another. idk but i like its vibes

“is it really such a terrible thing to be wanted, so badly that you are sought after, despite how you’ve sinned?”

basically venti here is arguing for why he wants to be pursued romantically rather than do the pursuing, as dvalin had roasted him for earlier.
“despite how you’ve sinned” is a reference to the fact that venti has Probably done war crimes (that we don’t know abt yet but we’re going to assume he has) and all the guilt he carries around everywhere for the things he’s done. however, one can also draw the connection btwn sin n xiao: is it really such a terrible thing for venti to want xiao in particular, despite all the baggage he drags around? smth smth unconditional love

“art thou truly so desperate for a boyfriend that thou taketh after a maidenless youth?” was not at all supposed to be a “maidenless behavior” reference, since my original intent while writing was to basically have dvalin say “you sound like a teenage girl bemoaning her love life in her diary” but in that more shakespearean way, but then for some reason “maidenless” just wouldn’t leave my head when trying to figure that out, so it became maidenless youth
“my interest in xiao is as a partner” this is the first time any of the characters try to refer to xv desired relationship as boyfriends, and as such, this is the first time we see that corrected into “partners”

basically, this comes down to my interp of xv, n how i don’t really see them getting seriously married in either canon or aus. like, as a joke, for a bit, or just something to do, yeah, sure.
the thing is that marriage is technically a contract, n liyue takes their contracts very seriously. i get the impression that marriage would come up w/too many connotations of permanence and binding n making-the-other-person-your-whole-life for either of their likings as a result— xiao bc he is still devoted to the protection of liyue bc he loves it n has made his life n identity there [through it]; venti bc although there’s no question as to whether he’d return to xiao whenever he chooses or is asked, i think he’d want it to feel like a choice every time, n part of how people idealize marriage is as two becoming one. venti values his independence, n being married would likely change people’s assumptions abt his relationship to/feelings for xiao in a way that he feels misinterprets his character.
as such, i’ve taken to calling them “perpetual boyfriends” as like, the fastest way to describe my hc for them, but i wouldn’t say that it’s the most accurate word either. i like the lighthearted playfulness, the noncommitance, of “boyfriend” mostly, which is why i accept n will use it for them in more casual settings.
but when speaking abt their feelings towards each other on a deep-heart level, as immortals? “boyfriend” becomes a little childish compared to the fathomless devotion and ardent love n desires they show one another through the centuries of separation and reunitings. like, “i have shown you all my innermost desires, all the darknesses of my past, every sinful burden i now carry within my heart, and yet you love me more fiercely than ever before”; “i would live just to have another day with you” [y’know, opposite of “i would die for you”]; “i would shoot down the heavens and raze its gods to the ground if ever they should threaten you” sort of things.

i’m just saying, i don’t think “boyfriend” quite covers that sort of relationship for most people lol

anyway, this is basically why i’ve been very careful w/how i describe the xv relationship, why venti tends say he wants to be with xiao [in a relationship, or as partners] rather than saying he wants xiao to be his boyfriend.

“like some sort of oppressive mother-in-law” after watching crazy rich asians in theaters, my dad told me that the relationship btwn the protagonist and the fiancé’s mom reminded him of this one phrase cn: 媳婦熬成婆, “suffer through being the oppressed daughter-in-law so that someday you may be the oppressive mother-in-law.”
- basically, venti’s saying he’ll put up with zhongli’s overbearing attitude towards venti’s attempted courtship of xiao for the time being. this comes partly from venti’s own guilt, partly because he’s joking about zhongli being ~way too serious~ about all this in general lol
the yanfei-xiao scene was added right as i finished up the venti-dvalin scene, and it managed to put in a number of things i thought i’d have to cut otherwise, esp the conversation n introspection around falling in love w/a mortal vs. an immortal
“a pure-hearted maiden caught beneath the clouds and the rain” clouds and rain (雲雨) is a romantic chinese euphemism for having sex.
the “why does the anemo archon call you babygirl?” comes from a snippet i wrote on a whim some time before i chose to begin this fic at all. i abandoned it as a oneshot bc i sensed it was going to go into a more somber mood (as it had always felt appropriate to lead into a conversation abt loving mortals vs. fellow immortals)
yanfei being shocked into internal monotony is a reference to the old sailor moon dub: “ohmygodheistuxedomaskidon’tbelieveit.”
“venti” is someone attainable to xiao, whereas “barbatos” is the unattainable equivalent. “anemo archon” is probably somewhere in-between? probably the closest thing to a realistic view of venti that xiao has at the moment.
“love is the most twisted curse of them all” is indeed a jjk reference.
xiangling advising kq add seafood stock specifically in order to make good stir-fry sauce comes from the fact that apparently, the secret ingredient to good stir-fry vegetables as made by my mother, is tuna stock
i almost went off and made up new names for the days of the week based off the genshin elements for the happy hour joke, but then i realized that would make me into a lunatic like tolkein. i’m not against rigorous worldbuilding, and i respect tolkein a lot for his dedication to it, but i would like to be comprehensible to more than just three people, if that.
xiangling mentioning that most other places use chicken stock is bc when talking to a friend abt the bonito stock secret, he told me that his parents use chicken stock, and this appears to be the case w/several of my other friends too
internally, the logic around seafood stock → hydro slimes and chicken → dendro/anemo is bc like… fish like water. and chickens can fly and they live on land.
the engagement subplot kind of inserted itself in on a stroke of inspiration when i started writing this, as it did not exist at all in the original pitch, so the sheer quantity of kq povs this fic has been getting has been a bit of a surprise to me lol
“ganyu saying yes [to my marriage proposal]” so a long time ago, when i was still in high school, i asked all my teachers what their fave thing abt their s/o were, and i remember one of them paused, thought abt it, and said, “she said yes [to my marriage proposal]” n i just thought that was cute. one might argue that kq putting a whole step for ganyu to agree is a little presumptive, but i think it’s more presumptive if she doesn’t have that step there n just assumes it’s a yes, but GOD FORBID what if she says no, then at least then she probably has a contingency plan prepared lol
kq beating rex lapis (or in this case, his shrine) in gladiatorial combat for ganyu’s hand in marriage can be seen as symbolic of her human ability winning over ganyu’s adeptus heritage, representing the victory of human ingenuity over the rigid restrictions of tradition, but, like

mostly, it’s just kq being combative and prideful over her relationship w/ganyu lol

was nearly titled “as the crow flies” — “as the crow flies” is an english idiom that means “the most direct path between two points”, or a straight line. titled such bc characters keep suggesting the most straightforward solutions to one another, but for various reasons, it either doesn’t work, or they choose to be convoluted anyway. it was also deemed appropriate on account of the association of crows with death and doom, and the chapter itself follows the fallout of the funeral shower in more depth.
kq being unable to reciprocate xinyan’s affection lest she be accused of bias was smth i only considered bc back in the olden days when i did competitive speech in high school, i once had my own event captain as my judge, n he had to tell me not to be affectionate or chatty in front of the other competitors or else it could be perceived as bias.
“my favorite part abt deadlines is the whooshing sound they make as they fly by” is a reference to douglas adams, author of the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy, a series i imprinted on as a child. the full quote is, “i love deadlines. i love the whooshing sound they make as they go by.”
venti tells dvalin that no one keeps him in liyue; yet he also says that he’s had no time [to look for xiao n apologize] bc morax has been having him help out in the parlor.

venti can leave liyue altogether, or he can stay w/in zhongli’s sight to keep from incurring his wrath and/or disappointment. or something! venti may very well also just be using zhongli as an excuse to avoid xiao out of guilt, hence the discrepancy. he certainly wants to be in liyue to continue the schemes, but he doesn’t want to upset xiao by bringing up his mistakes too soon

ning calling gq “two young swallows” references “swallows nesting in the eaves” as a cn symbol of a coming marriage, but also plays into “one swallow does not make a summer” idiom in english/german, which means that one should not rely on a single lucky incident to carry a plan.
i chose 42 as the stall number for the vacating merchant bc i was thinking about soul eater and how their hotline phone number to the grim reaper was “42-42-564” bc saying it in jp sounds similar to “die die kill”. 4 has similar death connotations in cn, and thinking about it, maybe i should’ve given them stall #44, but Whatever!!!

other references (mentioned in the a/n on ao3):

xiangling saying “it sounds like i’m telling grandpa how to cough” comes from this thomaya fanchild post where ayato was like “don’t tell grandpa how to cough” in response to thoma instructing him on how to hold his own niece, bc now i think abt that all the time. “don’t tell grandpa how to cough.”
the song venti sings is «月亮代表我的心», usually translated as like, “the moon represents my heart”, though i chose (yes, blame me) to word it as “yes, my heart, it shows through the moon” so that i could sing along in english in my head.

the discussion questions:

bear in mind that none of the characters are entirely reliable narrators. i didn’t tag for it bc i consider it more of a feature of my writing style than of this story, but like. basically, know that no one character will always be making 100% correct assumptions or conclusions abt other characters’ feelings or motives. with this in mind, [who do you think is the most correct abt xiao’s reaction to the events of last chapter? what might everyone’s conclusions reflect abt their own character? abt their relationship to/view of xiao?]
yanfei internally calls xiao’s wallowing in his ~unworthiness~ of being w/venti self-absorbed. while he presents it as being considerate of venti’s desires for freedom, he is making assumptions rather than actually asking venti what he wants, to the point where he deliberately all the obvious signs saying otherwise. is this hubris, or humility taken to a vicious degree? (“vicious” here used in consideration to its shared root w/the word “vice”) what do hubris and humility share in common? what differentiates them?
i ran into a really big problem w/gq battle burst line translation, hence why they’re not recognizably from the game. i chose “劍出，影隨” [with sword comes shadow] from kq and “風雪的縮影” [all hail] from ganyu. ganyu’s being localized into “all hail” is really cute imo, and i won’t pretend that “shadow of a snowstorm” is the most accurate t/l either, but for artistic reasons, i wanted to draw a connection btwn the use of 影 to give this kind of “wherever you [the sword] go, i [the snowstorm] will follow” type of vibe. did it work? who’s to say. how far do you think a translator’s obligation to the original text goes? what makes for a faithful translation? is it faith to the printed word, the author’s intent, or the expected effect on the audience?