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so a while back, i saw this one third wheel chart on tumblr for lord of the rings:

and i just thought, "GOD we have to do that for genshin."

and so we did!! here it is:

(by the way, the font i used to label each character is called "Zud Juice" :D)

and now here's a table explaining our logic! since describing each location would be a little bit of a pain, i'm just gonna assign (cartesian) coordinates to each character.

originally created 21 october 2022.

character	third wheeling	(involvement, approval)	reasoning
collei	× cynonari	(2, 4) (somewhat involved, very supportive)	she's definitely supportive, and i think she'd be at least a little bit involved yeahhh i think she should be our frame of reference for "just a little bit too supportive
xiang­ling	× xingyun	(-2, 3) (somewhat hands-off, supportive)	the classic, unfortunately. supportive… but would she be involved? mmm nah; she's supportive, but quite hands-off, i think. compared to collei, xiangling's, like, not as invested in it she's like, "i'm gonna witness this." she's a bit more involved in it by virtue of being young
venti	× chilumi, all of mond	(-5, 1) (incredibly hands-off, vaguely supportive)	he has to third wheel everything that happens in mondstadt, ever. he's definitely gonna be hands-off about it, though he is so hands-off about it, unless you count the poems. they go to him for that. that's true… WAIT, NO, HE OFFERED THOSE CLASSES FOR WINE MONEY! for WINE MONEY !! he wants the WINE; it's not 'cause he wants to HELP!!! okay, hands-off then. is he supportive or disapproving? i think he's mostly supportive. he's like, " go with what your heart wants!" i think it would also depend on what pairing it is, but ~ generally~ supportive yeah
xiao	× zhongchi	(5, -4.5) (incredibly involved, incredibly disapproving)	xiao also has to be on this chart. he has to third wheel childe and zhongli. [laughter] DISAPPROVING AND INVOLVED!! [laughter] god, this man hates childe × zhongli.
kaeya	× jeanlisa	(not on this chart)	is kaeya a third wheel to jeanlisa? … no. i would say he isn't even third-wheeling. he's friends with like both of them. oh, and they both have self-control yeah i don't think he's a third wheel.
itto	every ushi friendship	(4, 4.5)	i feel like itto would be third-wheeling someone, but i don't know who. i feel like ushi would third wheel itto even though there's no pairing [laughter] NO! ITTO IS THIRD-WHEELING USHI!!! i think that itto is actually third-wheeling ushi in every single one of ushi's friendships. he is so supportive– –and he is so involved [both laugh so hard they cannot breathe.] actually, i might raise itto up a little bit… he has so much support in his heart
ganyu	× beiguang	(-4, 2)	i know that ganyu has to third wheel beiguang ooo so sorry ganyu [laughter] wellll, would ningguang put it behind closed doors, though? beidou. and ganyu are friends. ah. beidou would. she'd be a bit too much when drunk! oh yeah, oh yeah. ganyu knows. supportive, very hands-off, though. a bit less supportive than xiangling to xingyun, since ganyu's seen it all.
scara­mouche	× chilumi	(4, -4)	who would be third wheeling chilumi? that is a great question; who would be third wheeling chilumi? aside from venti, who's already in the perfect spot– oh, for some reason i was thinking scara he'd be so pissed off! [laughter] scaramouche! write that down as "disapproving" and "very involved"! right next to xiao!! just as disapproving, not quite so involved. but they're close!!

intermission 1:

• easily one of our best charts
• i like how we have to make charts once a year or else we're gonna go insane
• it's glorious!!
• oh, what about the travelers?
• oh god they're third wheeling sooo many people.

character	third wheeling	(involvement, approval)	reasoning
lumine	every NPC ever	(-4, -4)	lumine is going to be disapproving and uninvolved. yeah lumine just straight up said, "i'll think about it." and then she just left. she didn't deliver those love letters until she was forced to.
aether	every NPC ever	(1, -1)	i think aether would also be disapproving, but slightly involved really? i think for aether it would depend on what pairing he's third-wheeling. he's in like around the overall middle, but still in the bottom-right quadrant. i thought he'd stay in his own lane! no, he's like, "i don't like this, but yes, i'll deliver your love letter for you." ohhh. yeah. that's true, that's true.
kazuha	× beiguang	(-1.5, 1)	is kazuha third-wheeling beiguang? nooo ooo… actually, yes. hmm so in like, slightly hands-off, vaguely supportive? yeah
no one	× kazuhei	(not on this chart)	who would be third-wheeling kazuhei? no one they'd just wander into the forest and no one sees them. yeah, pretty much.
sara	× eimiko	(not on this chart)	who is… third-wheeling eimiko? oh, i was thinking about that earlier! would it be… sara? might be sara i mean, who else would be there to third wheel them? i'm not sure. usually they get alone time, 'cause if it's at ei's place, other people would just get dismissed. yeah, eimiko would just have alone time. and if they're at the shrine, then yae can just dismiss the shrine maidens… yeah, they have too much power to be third-wheeled.
all of mondstadt (but mostly jean)	× eulamber	(1, 2)	oh, all of mondstadt third wheels eula and amber. oh, god it's either that or all of their friends are dead jean's probably the most important third wheel, though. yeah, jean's probably the biggest one. 'cause she's their fucking boss. yeah! supportive aaaand completely uninvolved. well, i think jean would actually give advice. yeah! so supportive and slightly involved!
gorou	× kokosara	(3.5, -1.5)	gorou should third wheel kokosara omg he should bring him in!!!! i feel like he'd be involved… no. involved, and kind of disapproving yeah, not as much as xiao, but like, yeah.
ayato	× thomaya	(-4, 4)	wait, you forgot about ayato— RIGHT, HE'S A VERY IMPORTANT THIRD WHEEL i think he's supportive and hands-off whatever happens, happens to him i like how all the corners are filled now. me too. actually, i think ayato would be a little less hands-off than that. he'd be involved, but he'd be, like, sneaky about it.
chongyun	× himself (xingyun)	(0, 1.25)	i feel like chongyun would third wheel someone. would he third wheel himself? … yeah!! he's a bit supportive, eh? yeah!! why would he be disapproving?? he's got– he knows he's got something going on between himself and xingqiu.
cloud retainer	× ganqing	(5, 3.5)	she's supportive and involved! oh, good lord. oh, even more than itto more than itto!! amazing incredible!! she's more involved, but i would say a bit less approving.
dehya	× cytham	(3, -2.5)	oh, we need to put down dehya 'cause i don't know what's going on between cyno and haitham, but something's going on there. it's probably hostility, and dehya is the third wheel for it! oh, god, yeah. 'kay, let's see… i think she's disapproving and hands-off. well, she's slightly involved, isn't she? yeah, she was trying to make peace, but then she's not very good at it.
zhongli	× xiaoven	(0, -3)	would guizhong ever third wheel xiaoven? mmm, nah. i think xiao's too shy to ever let it go public. true, true. unless you wanna put zhongli! it could be zhongli. it is kind of funny to see zhongli be the third wheel sometimes. after what he does to xiao with childe? of course. he deserves it. he's the only guy allowed to try and watch two immortals try to court! oh, and it's incredibly awkward. oh, yes. he's gonna be disapproving. because it's venti, of all people of course, of course! that's his son!! i don't think he's involved, but i don't think he's hands-off about it, either. yeah. he's like, right in the middle. good for him.

intermission 3:

• OH!! SOMEONE'S gotta third wheel KAVEH and ALHAITHAM.
• oh. that might be tighnari and cyno.
• they had dinner together.
• oh, god
• oh yeah, they had dinner with kaveh, and kaveh kept complaining about alhaitham!

character	third wheeling	(involvement, approval)	reasoning
tighnari	× kave­tham	(-4, 0)	tignari is hands-off. he's not supportive either; he's just neutral; he's like, "i'm just gonna watch this chaos 'cause it's amusing." he can be less hands-off than venti; it's okay not everyone can be as hands-off as he anemo archon.
cyno	× kave­tham	(1, -4)	i feel like cyno is definitely gonna be under "disapproving" and "hands-off". ah, yeah. yeah. less hands-off than lumine, though. 'cause cyno is a man of action! oh, he might be slightly involved in that the involvedness is just him telling jokes. oh, god. he's just there, helping kaveh roast alhaitham incredibly disapproving, slightly involved. i love the way cyno n xiao are never far off because they just have very similar personalities.
nilou	× dehya­rzad	(-3, 1.5)	i'm thinking supportive and hands-off.

intermission 4:

• we might have needed a bigger chart.
• we didn't expect so many third wheels, huh?
• what i'm gathering is that inazuma was the country where everyone was super fucking lovey-dovey, and sumeru is full of third wheels.
• yes.
• well, to be fair, collei is third-wheeling cynonari, and cynonari are third wheeling kavetham, so it's a giant circle of third-wheeling.
• there are a lot less supportive and involved people than i expected.
• and there are a lot more involved and disapproving people than i expected!
• [laughter]
• [laughter]
• i thought it would have a positive trend, but it's turning out to have a negative trend, y'know?
• well, there's a general trend now at least!
• don't approve? actively try to destroy it!!

character	third wheeling	(involvement, approval)	reasoning
childe	× scaramona	(not on this chart)	childe and scaramona. hmmmmmmm... would that be a thing? scaramona's not very canon at all. it's not. childe would just be there.
yoimiya	× thomaya	(4, 3.5)	she'd be so supportive; she'd give them fireworks n everything! yeah! it's so hard to cram all these portraits in you can just put her under itto; she's probably seen it all already. that's true; that's true her investment is not that high.
candace	× cytham	(3.25, -2.5)	ohhh, if dehya is a third wheel to cytham, then so is candace. oh god, yeah, you're right. she's also disapproving and involved! she's gotta break up their fights i think she's more involved than dehya, but just as disapproving. these poor women.
thoma	× ayamiya	(3, 3)	thoma would be third wheeling ayaka and yoimiya. ahhh! yeah!! same with ayato, i guess. i feel like ayato would be less of a third wheel in that situation. yeah, he kind of just goes home thoma on the other hand… thoma is very much a third wheel in this situation; he's running all across the island. he's supportive, and i feel like he'd be fairly involved. a bit involved. a bit involved, but not super involved. if they want like snacks for a date, he'll get it for them.
ayaka	× thomato	(-1, 2.25)	i think ayaka could technically third wheel ayato and… thoma? oh god yeah she would, but i don't like thomato that much… let's not put it on then. you are right, though; it would be funny. where would she be? i think she'd be oblivious. supportive, and hands-off, but only a little bit, i think. just y'know, to complete the collection of the yashiro commission.
diluc	every bar patron ever	(-2.5, 4.25)	disapproving and hands-off. is he gonna be more disapproving than xiao? no one can be more disapproving than xiao.
yae miko	× kokosara	(4, 1)	i feel like yae should be third wheeling someone on purpose. oh god, yeah, she'd be so involved. but who would she pick? kokosara. oooo yeah, 'cause she's friends with kokomi, and she likes getting under sara's skin. oh my god yeah; she's gonna insert herself in there. she approves and is so involved! well, her support is low; she just wants to get involved.

intermission 5:

• kokosara have two very involved third wheels
• and then yae and gorou are on slightly different ends– this is actually kind of riveting.
• maybe we should write a fic about this.
• a fic about analyzing kokosara's third wheels.
• nonono, a fic about gorou being forced to team up with yae to get them together
• he disapproves, but he has to support it anyway.
• he is slightly disapproving, but he wants the general to be happy, and he absolutely hates that he has to team up with yae, of all people!!
• [laughter]
• that's actually kind of compelling.

i greatly enjoy this chart. it's such a gem hehe.

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