last night i dreamt that the next patch had nod-krai archon quest up to act six, and that it started off w/an asteroid coming down to hit nasha town, and since i didn't want to play the new archon quest yet, i teleported to mond and found they were ALSO hit by a massive asteroid.

and like, for context, the part of the dream leading up to the next patch release involved me wandering through some alleyway marketplace full of shops, and i was trying to buy some dolphin trinkets while also staying in budget, but there were a bunch of dolphin trinkets i remember wanting just Desperately as a child there so it was really hard. also i think someone was around, asking me what i wanted to order for lunch later, but a lot of it was raw meat, so i kept putting off telling them what i wanted for lunch.

but anyway, then like right as i was about to pay, i saw the asteroid come down, and i saw that a bunch of npcs and stuff suddenly had special dialogue markers above them, and i was like "ohhh my god the new archon quest act has been triggered but i don't wanna be here. i'll just tp out so that i can play it on my own time" AND THEN I TP'D TO MONDSTADT AND WATCHED ANOTHER ASTEROID CRASH INTO LIKE THE STONE GATE AREA FROM AFAR. LIKE I WATCHED IT CARVE A GREY STONE CRATER AND EVERYTHING

and then i went to liyue, but they also had casualties and i think they must've finally given us the map btwn qingce and stormterror's lair bc there were rows of gravesites adorned with flowers growing on them, and it was this mix of mostly glaze lilies and some cecilias? i ended up using elemental sight on them, and a lot of the flowers glowed blue, but some were distinctly still in their budding phase and were much more obviously glaze lilies yet to bloom. n then i heard i think xinyan's band playing in the distance, and it was like a cover of "die anywhere else" (as in like, the song from night in the woods), and i was just so suddenly profoundly affected by the grief that i collapsed and couldn't get up again

(also zhongli was there, wandering through the rows mournfully and singing along.)

but anyway, i guess i went back to nod-krai or SOMETHING bc now it was like. the food for lunch had arrived by this point, and it was all laid out in like these big aluminum takeout boxes, bc it was ostensibly supposed to be like this crisis meal sort of thing, where you feed the displaced n stuff

but in my dream, i had read like plot leaks or smth, which made me reluctant to eat anything that was put out, bc again, A LOT OF IT WAS JUST RAW MEAT!!

and so the rumors were that we were gonna use it to resurrect the dead!!!!! but people were just encouraged to eat it!!!!!!!!!!! so it was like dude wtf we NEED that!!!!!!!!!

they also didn't tell us what the meat exactly was, and tbh i was under the impression only i could really tell it was raw meat, which is part of why i was so unsettled by it. like it did look like it was from a variety of animals, and also kept separated by animals, but it was such a "Hmm…" situation, y'know.

but yeah then i happened to find some friends i knew from high school and ended up following them out of the concrete alleyway marketplace i'd returned to, and then i woke up.

last night, i dreamt that i went to a movie or smth w/my family. and this was like after a day at the beach in the dream or w/e; it was one of those dreams where the waves were like super massive

anyway for some reason, my sister n i were watching the movie from her laptop, and it was like this version of jurrasic park or w/e but w/ocean dinosaurs too now. but also the genshin chars were in it i think? and also team rocket

what's important is that at some point i was trying to turn on subtitles so i could understand what was going on better, right, but in doing so i somehow also gave my sister's computer like a brazilian virus???? like the movie kept getting interrupted by brazilian ads, so my sister got real mad at me n made me fix it myself or w/e

what i did was i think i just closed the ad n tried to search around in the video myself, and now this is the important part:

in this movie, they let xv KISS ON SCREEN in like this really beautiful animated scene where i think xiao saves venti from drowning

and like obviously. i went so fucking feral over this n i needed to see it in its proper context.

so to fix my sister's computer, i just delete the video player, reinstall it, n then we go to theatres to see the movie again for real

EXCEPT THAT THE THEATRICAL CUT DIDN'T HAVE THE GENSHIN CHARS OR TEAM ROCKET. it was just this love story btwn the man n woman who were also in the version on my sister's computer that got jacked by the brazilian virus, so there was some continuity going on there BUT MY BLORBOS WERE GONE

and i think we concluded that they must have had licensing issues w/the fandom chars for the theatrical release or smth, but the point is i was HEARTBROKEN

and then i woke up <3

had a dream just now that i went to the fourth day of anime expo, but it was being held at my rival's high school for some reason. the fact that it was my rival's high school specifically is not that important, since i knew a lot of people who went there; it's just the only person you [navi] are familiar with who went there or whatever. honestly, it might not have been happening at my rival's high school Literally, but definitely that was the premise in my dream bc it had a playground.

but anyway, one morning i went to this discussion on yaoi which had been spanning multiple days n several room changes and was now happening on the playground swing set, and i got asked what yaoiful things i was planning to write abt lately.

n bc xv are life-ruining jerks, i obviously had to talk abt them, but bc i am deathly shy i couldn't say them specifically, so i said, "haha well. i don't think i can say it in a place where children are around, but there is this one character who" and then proceeded to explain how xiao needs to get fucked as the only logical endpoint to his character

and then the panelist/teacher had the audacity to question the validity of my claim by questioning my interp of xiao's character as someone who gets practically eaten alive by his own desires???????? bc i wasn't giving names or anything, so she was like "ok but what if he didn't actually want things that badly."

but then recess or w/e was over, n we had to move the panel to a room proper, so i run off n join the crowd n try to search for room 21 to no avail. there was also this guy whose face i don't remember, but i guess in the narrative of the dream he was supposed to be cute or w/e, and he was also struggling to find room 21 for the yaoi panel, so we start searching together, and to keep from getting lost, we link arms to keep each other close.

at some point, linking arms became a bit too restrictive, so i moved to hold his hand instead and he's like, "woah" and i'm like "oh well if you don't like it then we can return to linking our arms" but in doing so he just went to hold my hand that time, so i was like "guess we're holding hands now (romantic connotations)"

AND HE HELD ON SO FUCKING TIGHT LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. WE HAD TO CHANGE HANDS AT SOME POINT N THERE WERE MARKS ON MY SKIN FROM HIS NAILS LMAO

anyway we never found the yaoi panel room or w/e, so it ended up as just kind of a date around the high school/con grounds, where at some point we started watching this really low-budget improv show abt the bearanstain bears. it started off w/someone on stage in a fucking blow-up costume of… i wanna say dw from arthur, which was in turn covered by a teenage mutant ninja turtle blow-up costume, so that they could pull the hood over the dw costume n also play the ninja turtle for a while.

in the end i got kind of bored w/the cute guy the narrative gave me (or in attending ax in general for yet another day) n went home to play genshin, except genshin was kind of the real life? but the only part of it that showed up in the dream was the abyss.

floors 9 n 10 of the abyss had reset bc i guess it was 5.0 already, n i found you in the middle of doing abyss or w/e against some new mechanical boss enemy. then like halfway through that, venti came on over a pa system and went 「キンコンカンコン」 like the fucking school bell chime and announced that the fucking maguu kenki was joining the ring now, and we were like "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???"

and so anyway, somehow we got through that n i asked you what floor that was n you said 9-1. up until that point, i was under the impression you were doing floor 11 or 12 or smth, so i was devastated.

also! instead of handing out rewards directly, they gave out these ginormous brown eggs that you had to take care of in order to exchange for rewards later or smth, and you complained abt how one of the rewards from the new abyss was 11 eggs in a designed to make you think there were a dozen eggs. i didn't believe you that there were only 11 eggs, so you cut the carton in half, and in doing so, cut one of the eggs in half.

then you moved on to the next room in the abyss, and for a while i ended up trying to put that egg back together again, but eventually i gave up when i got a phone call or smth.

then i took the bus down to anime expo again to see their closing ceremony or smth?? which i ended up just watching on a tiny tv. and there was a parade, one of the acts being my rival high school's marching band as led by the drum major they had when i was in high school, aka [redacted context that takes a month to fully explain], and then it was followed up by like 10,000 people in various cooperative snake costumes.

and then i finally woke up.

The End

last night, i dreamt i was doing imaginarium theatre, and one of the random cards i pulled was like

"ningguang will always favor you and show up a lot, both as an option to join the party here or in the gacha."

just woke up from a dream where i made my lumine into a murderer n stabbed this guy w/scissors n then disemboweled one of his friends w/my bare hands

and also that mhy remodeled the abyss to be like, bright white n surgical.

i (as lumine bc it was basically self-insert time) walked up to the first chamber w/beidou, who was like, "by the way, i don't like rooms w/screens either" n i was like "huh?"

then an elevator suddenly brought me up to a little room n spawned in those guys i then stabbed for being creepy, and i was apparently in the middle of playing his character quest. like this was apparently part of his character quest, whose central question was smth like, "what does it feel like to live w/committing such atrocities like epic violent murder?"

anyway, the guy had two friends, n you basically murder them one at a time as they wake up.

also in the abyss remodeling, basically after you finish one chamber, a screen flips n you go to the other side; it was honestly sick as hell to experience in the first person.

anyway then i had to restab the guy w/a pair of scissors outside the abyss bc he kept taunting me abt how i wasn't actually killing him bc he's just that hardy of a guy. but he had his arms folded across his chest so i couldn't stab him from the front, so i kept stabbing him in the back

just woke up from a dream that involved golf w/the characters from ice age, atms that you had to like, play like pianos (bc each number button played a distinctive note), which we used to steal a car that belonged to a woman who murdered her dad or husband or smth n had the body in the backseat, but when inside the guy was like, just sitting there on the floor. he wasn't saying anything just kinda chillin, but he wasn't murdered or anything

but anyway i started lucid dreaming while riding the car through this apple factory (making the fruit, not the technology, to be clear) that sponsored the game of golf the ice age guys were going through (where if you were winning, you had your name displayed at the top of a livestream chat, and the sloth from ice age was unwittingly winning), where i thought to myself, "you know, none of this would have been happening if i just decided to keep reading xv fic." so i went to hang out in a small library room w/irl high school/college friends i haven't seen in forever

we chatted abt the current anime or w/e (i probably infodumped abt xv to my high school friends here) until someone was like "what time is it?" n it was like 8:53, so it was like, "aww we have to go to class now" as if it was high school. i was like "i already missed zero and first period so what's the point" but as soon as i left the room, a friend from high school i haven't seen in forever came n tackled me for a piggyback ride, talking abt haikyuu as she basically started to crush me to death bc i am just that feeble now

the last thing before i woke up was that like, a discord message flashed at me from the top of my vision, from someone whose pfp was chibi venti in autumn colors n named "emo anemo boy hater"

just woke up from a dream where a tumblr mutual dm'd me on discord telling me that venti had possessed me to lobby for him to be server mod, and this was a bad thing bc he'd be tyrannical abt it.

* important context: this was just over a month before navi n i became friends, so i don't remember who the mutual i dreamt of was anymore.

had a dream abt the lantern rite leaks last night; it had like some flashback to the past, but not to the dihua flute bit or anything.

chongyun was there n he had long wuxia hair in a ponytail. venti was like, adult tall man for some reason and lecturing on a whiteboard for some reason, n xiao was like babie n following along bc he's obviously pitifully in love w/venti. we're talking like, anime schoolgirl "notice me, senpai >~<" kind of pathetic.

venti was lecturing in cn, n xiao was repeating after him, also in cn but like two seconds behind. i forget what exactly they were saying, but it had smth to do w/birds.

last night, i dreamt i was doing single rolls for some rate up 4*; i think i was under the impression that it was childe banner

n i was mocking him bc obvs he wasn't gonna come home, but then four rolls in the thing turned gold and i got— and you're not gonna believe this—

SCARAMOUCHE

and i was EXTREMELY MAD.

just had a dream that was like halfway between arknights and pacific rim where i was trying to survive on a ship while alien robots(?) on a bus were trying to hunt us [me & star] down.

but thinking abt it, the alien robots looked like the ruin machines in sumeru.

sick and twisted that there was no princess diaries in that dream at all.

just had a fucking dream that the tdmms hacked my ao3 n took my genshin fics out of anon

but ONLY like the het ones, bc i guess in my dream the tdmms didn't wanna know i cared abt gay people </3

and also apparently i had a fic titled "dandelion sea" or smth in that dream

last night i dreamt that genshin gave you a way to grind out character cons. or like, gave you a thing that gave you a low chance of getting a con for whichever character you did it with.

and there was this assumption that it wouldn't work for limited chars, but in my dream last night i dreamt i got another xiao con and i was like "fuck yes c3"

while i was napping, i dreamt swiz lent me a fursuit for some reason that i then wore on a trip to the beach, and then i got it dirty at the beach whilst fighting childe w/childe and pyro traveler

which was like incredible btw; childe became pyro at the end of the battle n then chlm were like "oh thank god" but then the blossom vanished before i can fucking claim it, so i had to leave through this back door to reenter childe's domain n do it again w/pyro childe, xinyan, n pyro traveler. for some reason they were all pyro; it was inconceivable except for xinyan, but anyway that fight flopped n so the fursuit got dirty n i was fretting to paimon abt it

n paimon was like "it's okay we'll just wash it up in the sink" n i was like, "PAIMON I THINK FURSUITS ARE DRY CLEAN ONLY"

and the conclusion was that i'd use my next paycheck to pay for the dry cleaning of the fursuit.

there was more before n after all that, like how i tricked some cops into driving me down to the beach, where disneyland n also childe domain were, in the back of their cop truck in this borrowed fursuit that was honestly a lot more like rlly high quality footie pajamas w/a hoof n mask you could like zip on, but those are the most vivid parts of the dream rn.

just woke up from a dream where in xv were going on a date and i think i might have been xiao?

and anyway, the menu was incomplete, but i (xiao?) was feeling pressured into picking an order by the waitress— WHO WAS [NAT'S HIGH SCHOOL HISTORY TEACHER], BY THE WAY— and at the same time, there was a grill hiding under the table, which turned out to be badly cleaned.

and this was like an american steakhouse type of place, not a kbbq place, so the propane stove/grill was probably just not osha compliant, bc when some char caught fire, the whole table went up in flames and then exploded.

the start of the dream was i think me digging holes in a field on the grounds of our [nat's & my] old high school as we waited for the school year to start. and youtuber sarah z was there, digging very intricate tunnels, and come to think of it, i think there were more dreams in the woods before this, but i don't remember it anymore so it's whatever now.

anyway, then sarah z yelled at me for ruining the flatness and squareness of her dirt room underground, and made me use this special flat shovel, which was apparently different from the perfectly identical square shovel i had, except that mine had a wooden handle and hers had a pink one, i think.

but anyway, she made me use this special flat shovel to fix her hole, but that just made it collapse more, at which point i stumbled across this underground room house network or smth.

and anyway, star was there. i don't remember if she had a face or if she was just some imagined version of every anime girl she's ever cared abt somehow turned into vibes and given form, but i guess she was having dinner w/her parents n also it was important that i have dirt smeared on my forehead in a square, so i had that happen. it was like the most precise square you can imagine; two layers of it.

and then i went back to school, where we were apparently playing the jjk ed in band. but there was this shitty teacher who was also threatening the country in some way, so we had to appease him or whatever.

anyway, i had to leave my jacket, which was for some reason fluffy and had neon orange on it like a sleeping bag. when i went to the restroom (by which i mean when i tried to take a shit i got bored n took out a flashlight), which meant that the bathroom attendants, which we just had for some reason, caught me, and then they took away my jacket to put it in a locker, as per the rules.

and so then i sat there trying to take my shits when other girls came in and started messing w/my door, which was terrible bc it was cheaply made and came unlocked easily, until finally it just came off the hinges and i was like "fuck it i'm done here" and got up to leave, but not before they said smth n misgendered me

and i was like, "who is she?" at which point, two of the three girls— [high school underclassman] and this girl i sort of knew in elementary school— exchanged "ohhh right" looks, while [girl i knew in middle school choir] gave me this shocked look

oh and btw when i was going to the bathroom in the first place, the shitty teacher— who looked like [popular substitute teacher from our district growing up] btw— was like "yeah sure but idk your name"

so on my way out i was like "btw my name is [白 (bai) 雪花 (xuehua)] and my pronouns are they/them," and shitty [substitute teacher] was like "yeah sure if it flows?" and i was like "excuse me?" and he was like "i'll use those pronouns for you if they sound like they'll flow"

anyway, after i got out of the bathroom stall, i was like "where's my jacket??" in like that high-pitched panicky voice i use sometimes, and the bathroom attendant was like "how many times do i have to tell you i hate it when you use that voice?" or smth like that bc my comeback of "well good thing we're not dating then" made sense in the moment

anyway, a genshin tutorial screen explaining how to find my jacket showed up, which i think was kind of warranted bc the way i had to find my jacket wasn't very clear. like, you know those parts of fluffy jackets where you can pull on the cords n tighten them, and they have those little nibby things to keep them in place? those things to keep the cords from unbunching your jacket. i had to find a matching nibby cord thing to the one on my jacket out of the ones pinned to the wall, which would then correlate to… not a cubby, but like a closet door, which would then give me back my jacket. and i left

and that period had already ended, and also [mutual friend] was there, trying to find his first class or w/e, which apparently we shared, but i had to go fetch my stuff from shitty [substitute teacher], which took forever bc he hid all my shit while i was gone, so i almost started crying in the middle of the half-empty classroom, where i think i'd be forced to spend all that time with some of those slimy bitches i hated in high school if i didn't act fast enough.

anyway then i found it then i left and i think the dream ended.

i can't tell if i dreamt it or not, but i remember reading that childe was apparently supposed to accompany the traveler on their journey in canon. i think it was a dream.

oh but anyway last night i also dreamt that i

1. got into the xv zine and
2. i got a physical copy sent to my house

and i had a heart attack bc it was just very obviously gay.

not porn, but still obviously gay, and it was addressed To Me and not hidden in any way whatsoever

and also i dreamt i got like three copies of it for some reason and anyway that sure was something.

last night i dreamt we were rolling for kazuha, and one of us got early pity

and then it was mona

last night i dreamt i put 20 pulls into ayaka banner and got mona

at like exactly 50 pity

last night i dreamt they let us choose what elemental sliver we got after comms

and i also dreamt they were gonna introduce like eighty other types of ascension slivers for w/e reason

dude, last night i dreamt that i rolled three jade spears

IN ONE TEN ROLL, MIND YOU

when will my torment end.

last night i dreamt we [nat & i] were on a field trip w/the genshin chars

n i was watching venti fill out paperwork, n he put is legal name down as either "venti the bard" or "venti (caleb) the baleb" and for some reason this was so funny to me

oh my god and when xiao had his name written down, for some reason it was in japanese, n it read "ashuteri niku" w/niku being the word for meat

and at some point i was like "wait. this sounds kinda like 'rick astley' but in a jp accent. did zhongli do that on purpose?????"

last night i dreamt my sucrose had 830 em

idk what the rest of the dream context was, but she literally had 830 em specifically, which is literally 120 more than usual.

i was taking a nap earlier n i dreamt that one of the artists i follow on tumblr got into xv.

brainworms are real and can happen to you.

* editor's note: i just think it's funny i followed neetols back in 2020 or so for their jjk art, and then later they got into genshin n xv sometime in 2022.

last night i dreamt twice abt the 50/50

once i lost it to qiqi and everyone partied bc now xiao guarantee

and then the second time i won it and everyone partied bc now albedo

so you could say i'm really looking forward to rolling tonight.

last night i dreamt albedo banner was out

and i did my 10-roll at first, which is weird bc i was planning on doing just singles, and i skipped seeing each one for some reason to see the full ten-pull

and i was like "who is that? who did i get?" bc it was like some dude w/a scythe n also a woman w/black n green hair

and my CONCLUSION was that i received diluc

and so i messaged you "it was diluc" bc for some reason you weren't watching, and then i went to my character page n was like "why is xiao here??"

and then i realized he just had a really really feminized splash art or smth?????????

and also apparently there was no diluc apparently the character i had concluded to be diluc was actually albedo

which means that in my dream. i rolled both albedo n xiao in the same ten-pull.

last night i dreamt i rolled in yoimiya banner and got keqing

which was better than the dream of rolling yoimiya

but man i've probably just been playing too much genshin

last night, i had a dream nat did a single roll on yoimiya banner for sayu/for kicks

and she got yoimiya and in the dream we were just inconsolable

i can never roll again until i actually want the 5* on the banner; i simply cannot afford otherwise.

last night i dreamt i got 85 pity on the standard banner.

i was abt to pay primos for another ten roll, only for diluc to come home. and then i woke up.

oh my god last night i dreamt genshin added a 6* character

hate it hereeeeee

smh where were my jjk dreams

guys it's begun.

i'm now dreaming of playing genshin.

i dreamt i started an asia acct n somehow rolled klee on the beginner banner.