on parental zhongxiao
originally scribbled 8 july 2022 - 11 july 2022
this was scribbled in my tiny notebook over the course of a few afternoons when reading this dictionary of chinese symbols, which helped put to words a lot of thoughts that i had the Vibe™ for, but couldn't quite articulate, as they're pretty strongly culturally engrained.
"father n son" form one of the five human relationships. the son has a duty to the father through filial piety, n it is different than his relationship to the mother: the father is strict, while the mother is loving.
the father symbolized the ruler.
the son symbolized the subject.
n i think that chinese parenting thoughts have grown kinder as of late. after all, the crushing strictness of the chinese parent has always been borne out of a desire for their children to succeed, rise up the ranks through scholarship n discipline, n maybe, they took that, "if the teaching is not strict, then the teacher is lazy" from sanzijing principle a little too much to heart.
but these desires are still borne from love n the valuing of growth. at the end of the day, the father is supposed to be strict bc he loves the son n wants to see him grow. there is a reason why dying before one's parents is considered impious.
n i think bc of all this, it's quite easy to see zhongli n xiao's relationship as similar to father n son, yet also ruler n subject at the same time. the parallels are already there.
but while zhongli might have come to see the changing parenting styles shift away from sovereign n subject towards smth more gentle, more mutually respectful n open, xiao likely hasn't disentangled the concept of zhongli as a father figure of sorts from zhongli his ruler. how could he possibly?
this is the struggle zhongli is faced with when trying to reconnect? with xiao. maybe "compensate for past version of himself's actions towards xiao" would be more accurate. xiao has no father figure, only rex lapis. at the same time, rex lapis is his father. they are one and the same.
he is obediently default to rex lapis's will. what do you mean, he can be more than his Lord's servant? that's like saying the son can become more than his father's name can allow.
a good ruler cares for their people as they would their own children. it should grieve them immensely to see them hurt unfairly.
but war is not fair. war is cruel, n a leader must steel themselves against their own actions in order to win. xiao, who came into liyue at the time of its greatest war, when its sovereign was the god of war, lives with this version of zhongli in his mind. rex lapis cares not for the individual foot soldiers' private desires n dreams, only for the future safety n prosperity of all "the people".